recent posts

  • ptwc: the good, the bad, and the ugly*
    usual disclaimer: names changed to protect privacy! thanks! ahhhhhh ptwc! aka philadelphia trans wellness conference. aka largest free trans conference in the world. so i finally address your presence after ignoring you for so many weeks, despite promising to talk about you. my sincerest apologies! so ptwc. ptwc is a conference hosted by the mazzoniContinue reading “ptwc: the good, the bad, and the ugly*”
  • a year in review
    so it’s been a while since i’ve written! more than a month, in fact. i’ve still been trying to put together something about ptwc, but i keep getting writer’s block and stop after a few paragraphs. but today’s a unique day, which got me thinking again about writing! what day is it, you ask? wellContinue reading “a year in review”
  • 12.09.19 – falling action
    disclaimer: in this post, i talk about feelings of dysphoria, self-disgust, and not-really-liking-myself-right-now feelings. if reading these things would be triggering or cause you distress, i ask that you please refrain from reading this post, and just wait for next week’s more uplifting installment. thanks! so the good feelings have stalled a bit. real lifeContinue reading “12.09.19 – falling action”
  • first semester review
    my first three months on (legal) hormones disclaimer: i will be discussing some of the more intimate/graphic aspects of how hormones have affected my body/sexual function/junk, so if that seems like it would uncomfortable to read, i would consider not reading this post, or at least not reading past the header that says “so whatContinue reading “first semester review”
  • defining me
    words are just words – aren’t they? that’s what i thought, at least, when i first started my gender exploration journey. the third or fourth time i saw my current therapist, she asked me “well, have you thought about what pronouns you would like to use to refer to yourself?” at the time, i saidContinue reading “defining me”
  • 11.7.19 – some kind of ecstasy
    I had another dream about lions at the doorThey weren’t half as frightening as they were beforeBut I’m thinking about eternitySome kind of ecstasy got a hold on me bruce cockburn, “Wondering Where The Lions Are” the past few days have felt different. for the first time in my life, i find myself impatient. thereContinue reading “11.7.19 – some kind of ecstasy”
  • letting go of normal
    what is normal anyway? from the beginning of this journey towards figuring out who I actually want to be and how that relates to my gender (and even before i started actually doing something about it), i realize now that there has been one constant: i’ve always been trying to find some way that iContinue reading “letting go of normal”
  • 11.3.19 – trauma
    “This tension is yours. I am not helping you anymore. You need to learn what this feels like, because this tension is what not-normals carry inside of them all of the time. It is dangerous to be different.” hannah gadsby i’m here writing because of hannah gadsby’s special “Nanette.” after watching, i just feel… unsettled.Continue reading “11.3.19 – trauma”


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Finding Haven

The gender quest of a nonbinary trans woman.

"T" is for Trans

and "S" is for Spouse

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